Let’s talk about success. For years, I always thought success in my vocabulary was all about wealth—the monetary component was the compass for being a successful person. When you have social media, you tend to compare yourself with other business owners who sell the same products as you. In the 90s, we didn’t have the “privilege” of seeing what was going on in everyone else’s business, right? But with today’s social media “show and tell,” those snippets of other people’s lives can really affect you mentally. Whether you like it or not, you look at your feed, you get affected, and you start to feel inadequate.
As a homeschool mom, I know that path is really hard. The education and the responsibilities are entirely on you. It’s hard work, and the toll it takes on your mental health is something that shouldn’t be overlooked.
A Different Path
When my children got older, especially my eldest, I started hearing about his peers getting into this or that university. My son, however, decided to join the Army during COVID. Seeing acquaintances so happy and being congratulated because their children got into “good schools” made me feel like I wasn’t getting that same recognition. Because my son chose a different path, I began to feel a bit of self-pity.
When he joined the Army, the whole family was affected—my husband, myself, and our youngest son. I knew that someday my children would go to college or move to other cities, but I was not prepared for how it happened. He only had about a week’s notice before he had to go to the East Coast. It hit me hard. I was so focused on my own emotions, going through a deep cycle of “empty nest syndrome.”
I realized then that some people we called friends didn’t really understand. They questioned why my son chose that path, and after a few months, I noticed none of them really called to ask how I was doing. That was the point where I realized that I only needed to rely on God.
Success is a Mental Game
To cut a long story short, I’ve realized that success is a mental game. I’ve reframed it in my mind: I am a successful person. Even if the monetary success isn’t all there yet, I am super successful because I raised my boys to be good Muslims who pray five times a day.
They are multi-talented young men. My eldest loves cars and is an incredible driver. My youngest is multi-passionate; he can cook, bake, and is a very handy person. On top of that, my children can recite the Qur’an. By God’s will, I was the one who taught them. I learned to read the Qur’an in Arabic myself, and my husband—who is a revert—encouraged me to pass that on to our sons.
I regard this as a true success. Success isn’t just measured in monetary terms.
Choosing Their Own Journey
I am not going to tell my children they need to go to college to be successful. I see now that work experience is so important. If they choose a different route after high school—like working first to fund their own education—I’m all for it. I’ve done it all: I worked full-time while studying part-time, and I even took leave from my studies to give birth to my eldest.
We are not a “traditional” family. Our children are designing their own lives and telling us what they want to do. I say yes, because my husband and I are not the ones who have to live their lives; they have to choose their own path.
Success doesn’t just mean having a successful business. It comes when you, as a homemaker or a stay-at-home mom, raise your children to be good human beings. As a Muslim, seeing my children pray on their own—even when they are on the other side of the country and stopping at a mosque for afternoon prayers—that is success to me.
I’ve reached that success point. Now, I am happily working on my project, the World’s National Flowers. I want to gain that worldly success now so that, by God’s will, I can secure my children’s future and the future of their families.
What is your definition of success? I’d love to know.
If you want to learn more about my work, project, and products, go to Siti Nuriati Studio and my Shop.
Also, feel free to download this workbook, “A Guide to Unlocking Your Untold Story”. This 4-Step Guide will help you craft your immigrant story step-by-step.
I hope you enjoyed this chat. Talk soon.
Stay kreatif,
Siti
